Turn Piss to Wine.

I thought about laying down with you. Perhaps, I do that a lot.

Perhaps. 

I thought about being your friend again. Perhaps, I already was.

Perhaps.

I thought about a night alone. Perhaps, I always have one.

Perhaps.

I thought about making a new friend. Perhaps, I already did.

Perhaps. Perhaps. Perhaps.

I'd die for you. Don't laugh.

I would. I would jump into the nearest danger for you. And wouldn't do it for the rush. 

I'd pull you out of the way, and hold the flame with my touch.

I would. I would take the shot you deserved.
I'd break my own heart, to prevent your hurt.

I would. I'd be the victim of your drown of.

I'd piece together your neglect. Aurora. 

Today, I died. Today, I know how a diabetic feels. And I feel terrible. My sugar has been unreasonably low. And I can't breathe. I hope this doesn't end up the way I expect it to be. 

I hope you read these blogs. Because they mostly concern you. I consider you my best friend. Isn't that weird? We don't talk half the million. But I still would consider you my friend. I like to think that it didn't matter. You know. And you and I deserve this time off. I only waste my day thinking about you before I go to sleep- Ha, because that's the only time I have. Anyways, this time. This time I could be different. Not complete change, but an attitude arrangement. I'm not stupid, but I'm naive. And I think if I learn more about it all, I could be a better person. Not just for you, but towards everyone. I have a harder time looking at anyone else, no matter how appealing, though you don't find that much here. Especially one's my type. I figured out why I like you. You're an asshole. Not to me, to everyone. This ocean will look for the endangered species that it needs, but it truly only needs one. Not saying your the ONLY ONE. That's exaggerating. I wouldn't say after this is forever, though that would be nice. But I am saying that you are the only one who appeals to me now, and from now and then I hope my feelings won't change about you. I'm never really sure how you feel about me. I think I trust you though. I hope you trust me.  

I'm getting this for my birthday. I think. I don't really know.

I tried.